Reda-i copilaria lui Stefanut

sâmbătă, 21 februarie 2015

ukipmedia(din aceasta campanie electorala sa invatam si noi)

Glume



Din glumele bunicilor




Am cules pentru voi câteva glume drăguţe, publicate de revista   «Viaţa ilustrată» în numerele apărute în anul 1937. Am "presărat" printre glume şi câteva reclame amuzante din aceaiaşi perioadă :

RESPECTUL CUVENIT

La un restaurant, un tânăr cam cu chef şi care făcuse gălăgie, fusese dat afară pe uşa din dos.
— O să vă pară rău, strigă el înfuriat. Nu ştiţi cu cine aveţi de-a face. Sunt de neam mare şi influent.
— Atunci scuzaţi, vă rog, răspunse chelnerul. Poftiţi încă o dată înăuntru, ca să vă putem da afară pe uşa din faţă.

BOLNAVUL

Când nu mă simt bine, mă duc la un doctor şi îi plătesc vizita, pentru că doctorii trebuie să trăiască.
De la doctor mă duc la farmacie de-mi fac reţeta şi plătesc farmacistului, pentru că şi farmacistul trebuie să trăiască.
Vin pe urmă acasă şi arunc medicamentele la gunoi, pentru că şi eu trebuie să trăiesc.

ÎN SALA DE MESE

— Trăiţi don locotenent, mie mi-a dat în ciorbă un os.
— Păi bine, mă, tu ai văzut vacă fără oase ?
— Dar D-voastra aţi văzut vacă fără carne ?

ÎNTRE EDITOR ŞI SCRIITOR

— Cum mai merg cărţile mele D-le editor ?
— Slăbuţ, slăbuţ! Dar nu descuraja. Colegul D-tale N. N. vindea şi mai puţin. Cum a murit însă a avut un succes extraordinar. N'avea nici o grijă: o să-ţi vie şi D-tale rândul.

 LOGICĂ DE ŢÂRCOVNIC


— De ce nu te-ai dus la înmormântarea lui Popescu ?
— Pentru că ştiu că nici el n'o să vină la înmormântarea mea.

LA LECŢIA DE ISTORIE NATURALĂ

— Câte picioare are măgarul?
— Patru, domnule profesor.
— Şi cum se numeşte?
— Patruped.
— Tu câte mâni ai?
— Două.
— Şi cum te numeşti ?
— Popescu Vasile.


OLIMPIADĂ

E: De ce fug aşa oamenii de colo?
A: Fiindcă este o cursă, iar primul primeşte un trofeu.
E: Primul înţeleg, dar de ce mai şi fug nebunii ceilalţi?

RECLAMĂ

Pe poarta unui cimitir de pe coasta mării se pot citi următoarele cuvinte: „Aici se oferă morminte de prim rang, cu plantaţii frumoase şi admirabilă privelişte spre mare. Cei care le-au încercat nu au mai plecat de aici.

LA ŞCOALĂ

Profesorul întreabă pe elev:
— Ce este o hienă?
— Hiena este un animal sălbatic, care desgroapă morţii şi-i mănâncă de vii.

ÎNAINTE DE CĂSĂTORIE

Băiatul: Mimi dragă, de când te iubesc mi-am pierdut capul.
Fetiţa : Ia-mă de nevastă – şi-o să-l regăseşti.

 LA RESTAURANT

— Chelner, te rog adu-mi o scobitoare.
— D-le - răspunde chelnerul - patronul nu mai ţine scobitori, de când a observat că onoraţii clienţi după folosire nu le mai dau înapoi.

ECONOMIE

— Tată, am economisit azi 5 Lei.
— Cum aşa ?
— Am alergat  la şcoală - în urma autobusului.
— Dar... de ce n'ai alergat în urma unui taximetru !?


MIŞCARE

Popescu se plânge amicului său:
— Imposibil, dragă, să urmez cu sfinţenie sfaturile doctorului. Mi-a recomandat să fac mişcare, spunându-mi să mă urc cât mai des la etajul 5 şi după aceea să cobor. Şi uite ascensorul nu funcţionează...

ÎNTRE COPII

— Măi Mitică, tatăl tău e cismar şi tu n'ai ghete.
— Par'că tatăl tău nu e dentist şi fratele tău cel mic n'are decât trei dinţi, îi răspunde Mitică.

NU SPUNE AZI UNA , MÂINE ALTA

— Câţi ani aveţi, doamnă?
— Treizeci, domnule doctor.
— Îmi aduc foarte bine aminte, că şi acum trei ani mi-aţi spus că aveţi treizeci.
— Aşa e, că eu nu sunt d'alea, cari azi spun una, şi mâine alta.

COPIL DEŞTEPT

Părintele către copil:
— Petrică, să te duci la şcoală şi să spui d-lui profesor că n'o să te poţi duce mâine la şcoală pentru că ai primit doi frăţiori mici şi o să am nevoie de tine acasă.
— O să spun, că am primit numai un frate.
— De ce asta?
— De celălalt o să-i spun săptămâna viitoare.

CUSUR

Negustorul: Ce cusur găsiţi ouălor de găină?
Clienta: Sunt prea mici pentru vârsta lor.

ECHIVOC

El: Scumpa mea păpuşică, eşti de zahăr...
Ea: Cum, aşa de dulce ?
El: A, nu, aşa de rafinată!


LA ŞCOALĂ

La deschiderea şcolii după vacanţa mare, copii îşi arată cadourile pe care părinţii le-au adus de la băi. Unul arată un pahar pe care-i scris Băile Slănic, altul o păpuşe pe care-i scris Techirghiol.
Tânărul Iţig arată cu mândrie un cuţit pe care era scris: „Restaurantul gării Ploieşti"

UNUL CARE ŞTIE CE FACE

— Se poate, măi Popescule, să ieşi cu pălăria asta veche pe stradă? Nu ţi-e ruşine?
— Ce ştiţi voi! Nevastă-mea mi-a spus acum şase luni: „Până când n'ai să-ţi cumperi o pălărie nouă, n'am să mai ies cu tine în oraş..."

PREA TÂRZIU

— Domnule comisar, am făcut ieri plângere la poliţie, că mi s'a furat punga cu bani. Şi am găsit-o acasă.
— Prea târziu. Hoţul e prins şi arestat.

MINUNEA

Anicuţa întreabă: Bunicule, ai fost tu în corabia lui Noe ?
— Nu drăguţă, n-am fost.
— Atunci, cum de nu te-ai înecat în potop ?

PĂRERE

— Soţul dumnitale a murit de moarte naturală ?
— Nu, domnule. A chemat întâi medicul...

N'A GĂSIT

— De ce nu ti-ai gasit, bărbate, o nevastă mai proastă decât mine, care să-ţi creadă toate minciunile! - strigă soţia supărată bărbatului.
— Dacă n'am găsit, ce să fac...

O MINUNE

— Ai auzit minunea cea straşnică?
— Nu.
— Intr'o cuşcă, la o menagerie, au fost închişi seara doi şerpi. Iar a doua zi dimineaţa - cuşca era goală.
— Ce s'a petrecut?
— Şerpii se'nghiţiseră unul pe altul.

LAS' PE MINE!...

Fata mamii: Mamă, nu pot să mă căsătoresc în ruptul capului cu Robert, care este un ateu şi nu crede că există infernul.
Mama : Mărită-te cu el şi nu-ţi fie teamă, draga mamei. In cele din urmă, vom isbuti noi amândouă să-l convingem că există un infern...

E ADEVĂRAT

Soţia: Ioane, să fie adevărat că oile sunt dobitoacele cele mai proaste?
Ion : Adevărat, mieluşeaua mea!



Citiţi şi...ZÂMBETE INTERBELICE

:):):)


:)))


Bataturi la limba


ZIARISTII AU FACUT BATATURI LA LIMBA

In fiecare minut sunt stiri in care suntem anuntati, de o noua "victorie" a DNA.
Au fost arestati, au fost interogati,  le-au fost protejate averile furate, in paradisuri fiscale.
Noi ca prostii ramanem, numai cu mica satisfactie ca,  i-am vazut in catuse.
IMI ESTE SCARBA DE TOT CE SE PERINDA PE LA TV.
Cum canaliile fara suflet isi bat joc de un  intreg popor?
Au pus in carca noastra ca datorii, tot ce au furat pentru ei.
Macar in Grecia au furat cu totii. Acum nu mai vor sa plateasca nici o datorie, vor sa le fie sterse datoriile si sa li se dea imprumuturi noi cu sutele de miliarde de euro, la o tara cu o populatie de jumatate cat Romania. BRAVO LOR !!!
Tin cu ei  ca nu suntem noi, tarile mici obligate sa ingrosam osanza de pe  gusatii Europei!!!
Bine a zis Nigel Farage, liderul UKIP ca, Herman Von Rompuy(nume de rom, adica tigan), este o carpa uda. Eu zic ca toata conducerea UE este o carpa uda cu scursoarea de la un WC. public. Cu acesti criminali din tara si cu criminalii din afara ei, ajungem transformati intr-o satra de tigani, cat de curand.
Si cine este de vina ? Noi toti ! Romanii, grecii si celelalte carpe de popoare in care nu este o urma cu dragoste de tara si de poporul lor. Aici corectez, grecii au, doar sunt cea mai veche democratie din lume. Asa ne vor rade si noua in nas, ca  tiganca blonda si tarile UE dupe ce ne vor spolia de tot.
Tin cu Grecia caci, noi ce am castigat in 1989, cand am avut datorie zero barat? Ce datorie avem acum ? Si ni se spune ca nu sunt bani si orice proasta,  ne spune de ce nu se dau pensii acceptabile, ca in 2050  bla.. bla...bla...
Ce obligatie avem voi sa ascultam aceste  discutii perverse si  dusmanoase fata de noi?
 Jos cu ei toti fara nici un fel de menajamente, pedepsirea vinovatilor, recuperarea a ce se mai poate recupera din paguba si inceperea unei vieti noi bazate pe cinste, corectitudine, dragoste de neam si tara si frica de Dumnezeu si de dl.Guillotin.
A vorbi la tv. numai pentru a face batai la limba este inutil, mai bine sa facem batai la antrenamente, prin  manuirea pistolului sau sabiei, a ascutirii taisului ghilotinei sau in urma trasului de franghie.
Pentru ca ne vor prosti, cu capul plecat pentru a paste iarba,  nu se vrea  o miscare iute nationalista. Dar unde sunt nationalistii nostrii ? Nu mai aud nimic de dansii, si ce incredere inca mai am in dansii!!! Erau si sunt cred, tineri, frumosi si pareau necrutatori in a invinge vremurile  nehotarate in ruperea de trecut.
Daca voi mai fi cand va fi nevoie de mine, eu si in baston voi raspunde PREZENT.
Doresc sa vad cum se lucreaza la o viata noua, sa fie un inceput macar, sa dau si eu o suflare vrajita.
ADEVARUL CA SI EU PENDULEZ IN A INTELEGE CE SE INTAMPLA ACUM.
 SUNT 2 CURENTE POLITICE IN EUROPA, SAU MI SE PARE MIE DOAR?
Sa tinem pumnii grecilor, sa vedem cum procedeaza ei,cum ii manevreaza pe papionati si sa le luam EXEMPLUL.
ATITUDINEA LOR DE PANA ACUM CONFIRMA CELE CE SE SPUN DESPRE  EI, DE SUTE SAU MII DE ANI:" SA NU FACI AFACERI CU GRECII!!!" :))))
Dar pentru ai imita pana la identificare, ne trebuie foarte multa rabdare.:)
Nu impartasesc indignarea celor pe platourile de dezbatere a televiziunilor care spun ofuscati cum ca,  Siriza sau liderul Alexis Tsipras cu conducerea,  sunt niste pusti inconstienti.
In tot ce vrei sa faci de anvergura in viata,  trebuie sa pui si o doza de inconstienta altfel, intre om si dobitoc nu mai este nici o diferenta. Sa refuzam sa mai fim manati si noi romanii ca vitele !!! Bafta noua tuturor !!!!:))))  

:):):)

Cronicile Anonymei:
imaginea nu este afișată
Cât trebuie să mănânci la o masă?
Mmmm... parcă aș mânca niște înghețată... Dar „niște” nu mă ajută să îmi dau seama cât de mare să fie porția. Tu știai că mâna ta te învață CÂT să ...

Vizualizează postarea

:)))


vineri, 20 februarie 2015

Paul Rieckhoff Java

Veterans storm the White House


Mesaje primite
x

Paul Rieckhoff, IAVA paul@mail.iava.org 

18:18 (Acum 1 oră)
către mine
To view this email as a web page, go here.



unnamed-3
Last week was huge for our community as the Clay Hunt SAV Act officially became the law of the land!

At a White House signing ceremony, President Obama was joined by Clay's parents, Susan and Richard Selke, and 22 IAVA members from across the country who traveled to DC to be a part of this historic moment. 

That day of hope and celebration came after a year of fighting for solutions to help stem the tide of veteran suicide. Now, because of the Clay Hunt SAV Act, VA will be held accountable while it increases its capacity to meet the demand of veterans seeking mental health assistance. Most importantly, it tells veterans that they are not alone or forgotten when they take off the uniform. 

Click here to watch a video recap of last week, and thanks again for all your support. 

One team. One fight!


Paul Rieckhoff 
IAVA CEO and Founder
Iraq War Veteran

:)))


Greenpeace

Rachael Prokop, Greenpeace webmaster@greenpeaceusa.org prin mta-c3poolc1.cluster3.convio.net 

13:00 (Acum 2 ore)
către mine
Greenpeace
Odorica- 
Arctic drilling is no laughing matter — but you can help save the Arctic with your sense of humor (or lack thereof)!

What's your worst joke?
Keep the #worstjokes coming and challenge your friends today!
Submit a joke today!

We asked you for your #worstjokes, and you outdid yourselves! You’ve flooded the Internet with knee-slappers from polar bear puns to knock knock jokes, and we’ve never laughed so hard.

Even celebrities are getting on board and posting their worst jokes! Mark Ruffalo's cracked us up, Sinbad tried his worst — and you won't believe how silly Nikki Glaser, Doug Benson, and all the comedians at the Travese Winter Comedy festival were.

Check out all these amazing jokes, and keep the momentum going by submitting your own!

Our #worstjoke feeds are full of amazing (and terrible) jokes already, and we're only getting started! To really scare Shell, we want them to know that all across the world, everyday people are turning against the oil giant. And that’s why we need to spread the #worstjoke far and wide.

Upload your own worst joke for the Arctic, and challenge your friends to do worse!


If Shell drills in the Arctic, it won’t just endanger the home of polar bears and walruses — it will hasten climate change. Burning Arctic oil would mean speeding up the rate at which the Arctic melts… and unfortunately that is not a joke.

Shell could begin to drill in the Arctic Ocean as early as this summer, so we have to ramp up the heat. Your bad jokes are just one tool we’ll be using to shame the company — and it’s an important one. The more people we reach through the #worstjoke challenge, the more people will get on board to stop Arctic drilling.

Tell your most groan-worthy, pun-tastic joke today and challenge your friends to do the same. Together, we can save the Arctic.

For the Arctic,

Rachael Prokop
Greenpeace USA Online Campaigner

P.S. If you’ve already shared your own joke, thank you! Now let's keep the momentum going by posting some more, and challenging your friends to do their worst!
Facebook    Twitter     

:))))


Seize the Day

Rachael Heisler, Fix the Debt info@fixthedebt.org prin bounce.bluestatedigital.com 

19:06 (Acum 9 ore)
 
către mine
 
FixTheDebt
facebook.com/FixTheDebt
twitter.com/fixthedebt
Odorica,
We celebrated President’s Day on Monday, a time for reflecting on the power of presidents to lead the way and shape the debate. We need that kind of leadership now as important decisions regarding the federal budget are about to be made.
President Obama’s recent budget proposal provides some good examples to follow, such as paying for all new initiatives and including some deficit reduction. But it misses an opportunity to put debt on a downward path and to spur discussion on the fiscal challenges ahead.
Civic leader and Fix the Debt citizen-activist, Jeff Wasden recently shared the wisdom of some past presidents in the Colorado Statesman. He writes that “President Obama needs to devote part of his final years as POTUS to reducing the burden of debt on this and future generations.”
Read and share Jeff’s column on the need for presidential leadership.
Sincerely,
Rachael Heisler
Campaign to Fix the Debt
P.S. This week we are highlighting examples of presidential leadership on fiscal issues on Facebook. Follow our Facebook page.
1899 L St., N.W., Suite 225 Washington, DC 20036
info@fixthedebt.org | Phone: 202-596-3597 | Fax: 202-478-0681
© 20

Grecia

            Thirteen Theses on the Still Unfolding Greek Debt Drama

Wednesday, 18 February 2015 11:06 By C.J. Polychroniou, Truthout | News Analysis 

LONDON 15 Feb 2015-  People gathered in Trafalgar Square to show support for the new Greek Government run by the anti-austerity party Syriza. (Photo: Sheila)LONDON 15 Feb 2015- People gathered in Trafalgar Square to show support for the new Greek Government run by the anti-austerity party Syriza. (Photo: Sheila)This story could not have been published without the support of readers like you. Click here to make a tax-deductible donation to Truthout and fund more stories like it!
As the Greek debt drama continues to unfold and Berlin's pressure on the new government in Athens increases dramatically in the aftermath of the collapse of the latest talks in Brussels - pressures that include demands for the replacement of the outspoken and rather brilliant Greek finance minister Yanis Varoufakis, thus adding more weight to the powerfully emotional argument that Germany treats its small euro partner as a colony - there are several things worth highlighting about Greece's problems and challenges, and the political economy of the eurozone.
First, many of Greece's current problems are of its own creation, but they were certainly intensified as a result of its entry in a monetary union that is intentionally structured in such a way that it seeks the dissolution of the traditional European social safety net, aggravates economic divergence and aims to establish a level playing field that allows big businesses to run roughshod over national interests and working-class people in virtually all areas of economic life.
Second, Greece's political economy rested on institutionalized corruption and a kleptocratic state in which the economic and political elite had made eternal vows of devotion to each other so they could enjoy a life of mutual pleasure through the rewards offered by looting the public coffers, an activity, or orgy of personal enrichment, in which lesser actors, such as the main syndicalist movements and various public agencies, were also allowed to participate.
Third, in joining the euro, Greece's political elite took advantage of the cheap borrowing costs and, with the help of highly irresponsible European leaders and financial institutions, engaged in reckless spending, pushing debt and deficits to unsustainable levels, with absolutely nothing to show for that borrowing in terms of sustainable growth, infrastructure improvement, improved social services, updated forms of governance and so on.
Fourth, the Greek debt crisis was the only real fiscal crisis in all of the eurozone as the calamities that befell the other peripheral member states (Ireland, Portugal, Spain and Cyprus) were caused by their private banking sector. Thus, only in Greece was there a public debt crisis, which, again, can be attributed almost entirely to the nature of the Greek political system. The crisis in the rest of the eurozone was a typical banking and financial crisis precipitated by the practices of predatory capitalism that the European Union had fully adopted in the course of the last two decades.
Fifth, the terms of the bailout plan that were imposed on Greece in May 2010 were intended not only to rescue Europe's banks as they had lent hundreds of billions of euros to the Greek state and to the nation's private sector, but also to punish the nation for its political culture and for having brought the eurozone to the brink of collapse.
Sixth, austerity policies and fiscal consolidation become the automatic stabilizers simply because the architecture of the eurozone - the absence of a federal form of government, a lender of last resort, and the lack of any form of democratic participation and accountability in European Union (EU) governance - prevents alternative solutions to capitalist crises. In this sense, the EU stands out as the ultimate undemocratic or anti-democratic entity in the advanced capitalist political universe.
Seventh, the policies imposed on Greece secured repayment of the loans and thus kept the country from defaulting, but destroyed national output, led 26 percent of the active population into unemployment, and, in the course of only a few years, converted an essentially advanced economy into a poor or undeveloped economy that would have sunk to the bottom of the Aegean were it not for its climate and astonishing natural beauty, which attract millions of tourists from abroad every year, although the tourist sector alone is not capable of jump-starting an economy that has been in free fall for so many years.
Eighth, all Greek governments up to early 2015 played the role of a servant to the country's international lenders (the so-called troika of the European Commission, the European Central Bank and the International Monetary Fund) by enforcing the anti-social and anti-growth policies of Brussels, Berlin and Washington. They were ever obedient and servile to Greece's financial masters, working in full realization that their disgraceful end in Greek politics would not necessarily mean their end as political figures. European and US elite public and private institutions always seem to find room for those public officials who have served the system and the interests of the international capitalist class in particular so well.
Ninth, as the economic situation deteriorated further in Greece, the Coalition of the Radical Left (Syriza), which all along was against austerity and challenged the presence of the troika in Greece, started to gain ground and in the national elections held on January 25, 2015, Syriza secured a landslide victory, winning 149 out of the 300 seats in the Greek parliament. Immediately after its victory, it proceeded to form a coalition government with the Independent Greeks, a right-wing political organization, a move that did not sit well with many true leftists, but, as they say, politics is the art of the possible. In reality, there was no other bride or groom available for this political marriage, even though scores of opportunists both from home and abroad (ex-socialists and various pseudo-progressives and staunch supporters of capitalism and of the EU) had rushed to join Syriza's ranks when it had became obvious that the left represented the country's political future.
Tenth, as an opposition party, Syriza ran on an anti-austerity, pro-Europe platform, in an apparent effort to kill at least two birds with one stone. Its message was that by challenging austerity and Germany's hegemony, it would open up the possibilities for a new Europe. It placed all its bets on a negotiation strategy with its European partners and denounced the need for having a Plan B in the event that it might end up with its back against the wall, which was the only obvious outcome given the nature of European politics today and the structure of EU governance. In the meantime, its economic program was modest by anyone's account, thereby hardly living up to the ideological expectations of a party with an entire political history that has been based on the defense of socialism.
Eleventh, Syriza's initial public posture as a party in government was to demand an official debt write-off, an end to austerity policies and to the presence of the troika in Greece (thus a complete rejection of the bailout plan), the reversion of privatization and measures to address the worst aspects of the crisis. But before you could spell Mississippi, the demand for a debt write-off had been replaced by "smart debt engineering" and mixed signals were coming from senior government officials regarding the reversion of privatization. The new Greek government seemed to have realized rather quickly that the negotiation strategy that it had invested so much in demanded obvious compromises and a return to reality, especially since it had no alternative plan for an exit from the Greek crisis other than the good will of its European partners.
Twelfth, in two back-to-back Eurogroup meetings held in Brussels, one on February 11 and another on February 16, the Greek government made a case for an end to the bailout term (although one would have thought that its disastrous effects speak for themselves) and asked instead for a short-term financing agreement while it prepares the submission of an alternative "rescue plan" (although one would have expected Syriza to have developed one long before it won the elections!). As it turned out, Greece's euro partners played hardball in both meetings and left the Greek government with apparently two options: stay on the austerity course or leave the euro. To its credit, though, the Greek government did not back down and refused to be bullied.
Thirteenth, the two sides seem apparently to be as far apart over the causes of the crisis and the impact of the policies of the last five years as Earth from Mars. It is also obvious that Greece's euro partners are concerned with making concessions to the anti-austerity (but no longer radical) government in Athens out of fear that other peripheral countries might get a similar idea in their heads, that is challenging austerity and demanding debt write-offs. This is the only way to explain the fact that the Eurogroup draft presented to Greek officials on February 16 was "tougher" than the one produced four days earlier. Indeed, a strong case can be made that opposition to the Greek government's demands are dictated more by political considerations rather than an economic assessment of the pluses and minuses of the Greek proposal.
The euro masters have given Greece until February 20 to request an extension of the bailout term, implying that there can be no alternative to the existing program. In other words, the Greek government must either capitulate or be forced out of the euro area. That could happen either because the European Central Bank stops all liquidity to Greek banks or even because of a bank run, forcing the government to print its own currency.
It is not safe to make any predictions as to what might happen on February 20, but one should think that an "honorable compromise" of sorts is still possible even weeks later. If not, history will come down very hard on Syriza's leaders for having no Plan B and having developed such strong social democratic expectations of a neoliberal EU.
Copyright, Truthout. May not be reprinted without permission.
 

C.J. Polychroniou

C.J. Polychroniou is